Another night of crib sleeping (?) down. We did a bit better than yesterday. Finn was asleep at 7:30 last night after a bout of screaming while Sean rocked him. Sean was able to put him down and he didn't wake until 11:15. I nursed him and got him back in the crib in about 1/2 hour. Then he woke again at 2:45 I nursed him and got him back to bed by 3, but then he was up again at 3:45. I nursed him again and tried to get him back to bed, but the minute I crawled back in bed he woke up. i asked Sean to give it a go. It took him until about 4:30 to get him back down. At that point, Sean decided to just go ahead and start the day and walk the dog (they are usually out the door a little after 5 anyway). Then Finn woke again at 5:15. As I peered into the crib, I saw a wide awake boy grin at me, so we decided to start our day too. He ate and we played a little, but then he started to get fussy. So, I think he must be tired so I try to rock him again. He goes to sleep, I put him in his crib. Five minutes later he is up. I put him in his bouncy chair as I am brushing my teeth and he becomes more and more agitated. I pick him up to try to sooth and end up with a screaming baby. I nurse him to get him to calm down as nothing else I try works including his paci. He finally conks out in my arms. He seems to be in a deep sleep so I begin to place him in his crib. The minute his bottom touches the mattress his eyes open and he scowls at me accusingly (how dare you put me down?). So I pick him up and now he sleeps soundly on my lap as I type this one handed. I end up crying because I think I must be doing everything wrong. I am clueless about his cues and I never know when i should be feeding him or playing with him or trying to get him to sleep. I am worried I am resorting to the boob to often because he has been spitting up. I am worried he is not getting the rest he needs because he is so cranky when he is awake. I am worried he is not getting the proper developmental activities when he is awake because I am always holding him trying to calm him. I am worried I am going to be holding him to nap when he is 18. All in all I am worried I am a bad mom. I also think I am overtired too (I obviously don't do well with disrupted sleep) and over-analyzing things, but no way that is going to stop given my propensity to worry even before motherhood.
We made it to the bookstore yesterday and they didn't have the books I wanted so they ordered them and will be here in a couple days. I hope they give me a little guidance or reassurance.
2 comments:
the heating pad tip from mandy is a great idea as is the wrapping baby in familiar smells -- we are going to try those...meanwhile i type this one-handed while holding a sleeping baby
so good to know i am not the only one
How have the last few nights been at your house? We've made it to only 3 or 4 hours at night in our bed. I don't know what we did. The PA last week did say it would get easier at 3 or 4 months. Here's crossing our collective fingers for this!
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