2 Weeks

Two weeks old today! I am afraid today started out full of tears. I thought Finn and I were making vast improvements in the breastfeeding department, but we had a rough night of not much sleep and Finn just hasn't been latching on well. My nipples are bleeding again and the whole thing is so painful. This morning when I went to feed him, I got so worked up because everytime he tried to latch it was painful and I just couldn't stop crying. The crying wasn't all about the pain, but just the fact that this whole thing is so challenging. I feel like I am doing something wrong, but I don't know what. Sleep deprivation really adds to my mood as well. Finn was worked up too. I think the poor kid was hungry and I just wasn't getting him the milk. It was not a good way to start the first day that Finn and I are home alone together. Poor Sean, I think he was so nervous to leave to go to work. I called the lactation consultant and she was surprised to hear we seem to have regressed since we were doing well. She told me to watch a video online on proper latching and to continue to use soothies (gel pads) to promote healing. I am also supposed to express quite a bit of milk before trying to get Finn to latch so he isn't overwhelmed initially. We have had a few more successsful feedings since then. It is still difficult initially to get him to latch properly, but he does eventually. I know he is getting enough food, but I really don't know how long I can handle the pain. If it continues, I will probably be going back into see the lactation consultant. I am so sad and frustrated about the whole thing. I know in the grand scheme of things, we have only been at this two weeks and I should recognize there is a learning curve, but I so want this to go well.

Luckily, I did get a nap in this morning and I am feeling a little more rested. Finn and I did have our first adventure by ourselves. I got him bundled up and put him in his stroller. It is a snap n' go which is a frame that you just set the car seat in. We had to go to the post office and then we went to the library (to check out breastfeeding books). Then, we came home and picked up Lily to go for a walk around the neighborhood. It worked out really well and I feel good having gotten some fresh air. Well, Finn is resting now and I should take advantage and get a bit of a nap in too.