Merry Christmas!

Finn is 7 weeks-old today! He had his VCUG last Friday and we got the results today. He still has hydronephrosis, but there is no reflux of fluid back into the kidneys. This is great news. He no longer has to take antibiotics and they think the condition is likely to resolve itself on its own. We are going to take him in for a follow-up ultrasound in 2-months to monitor the situation. They weighed him while we were there and he is now 11 lbs 9 oz and 23.2 inches long! A very big healthy boy. All fantastic news as we look forward to Finn's first Christmas. We are flying out for Colorado tomorrow. This is also Finn's first plane ride and I suspect it will be an adventure for us all. I will certainly have a lot of stories when we return. Until then, we wish you all a very Happy Solstice, a Beautiful Christmas, and a very Blessed New Year!

I captured a smile!

We have been seeing quite a few lately, but they are tough to get on camera! Here is the happy boy:

Tummy Time

6 weeks

Well, we made it to the 6 week mark where everyone says things get easier. In a lot of ways they have. Looking back, I was so stressed those first couple of weeks and now I am able to take things in stride a little better. I won't say I am fully laid back, but I have improved by leaps and bounds.

The sad news is this weekend I was back to crying over breastfeeding. I had run out of all purpose nipple cream and I thought things were looking better so I hadn't refilled the prescription. Huge mistake. The thrush pain came back with a vengeance. I can't quite describe the burning sensation in my breasts, but it is awful and then when Finn latches on, it is like fire. So, on Sunday I researched on kellymom (a great breastfeeding resource) and decided to fight this thing with every known remedy out there. I am cutting out sugar and dairy. I refilled the nipple cream. I am washing with a vinegar solution after every feeding. I am taking acidophilus 6x/day, garlic supplements 4x/day, echinacea 4x/day and Finn and I are doing gentian violet treatments. This is the weirdest part. I am supposed to paint my nipples with this stuff and his mouth 2x/day before a feeding. The trouble is it is bright purple and stains everything. Poor Finn looks like a goth rocker with purple lips. I am also calling my midwife and hopefully she will get me on a more aggressive internal treatment. I am hoping this will be resolved by the time we go to Colorado next week. If not, I am seriously at my wit's end. It is funny, I was so righteous about breastfeeding when I was pregnant. I couldn't fathom why anyone wouldn't breast feed or would give up. I totally get it now. Which is not to say that I am giving up, but I have been humbled and totally get why women find themselves unable to go on. I so want it to be the natural, pleasurable, bonding experience that I have read about. I have had maybe one or two good sessions in the last 6 weeks that do give me hope that it can be that way if I can just figure all of this out. I am desperate to be pain-free. I also feel awful constantly complaining about this. I know everyone is tired of the same old story from my end, but it seriously consumes me. Considering I feed Finn around 8x/day and he is going through the 6 week cluster feeding growth spurt, this is the most prevalent part of my life right now.

So, I am sure you all have heard of the big ice storm in the Northeast. NH got hit hard and over 300,000 homes lost power. We really lucked out and didn't have any problem here in Concord. They have shelters set up all over the state for people without power and heat. Our family in Northwood did lose power and probably won't have anything back up until Tuesday. Luckily they have wood heat. We went out to celebrate Liam's 2nd birthday on Saturday and everything was very cozy with the wood stove burning. Here are some pictures from the party.

Finn with his Nana and Aunt Kate and cousin Annalise:
Finn slept the whole time:
Liam loved his cake:
Liam's chainsaw was the biggest hit:

My First Shower

No, not my first shower since Finn's birth, but my first shower while he and I are alone together during the day. It seems silly, but I haven't been brave enough until today to leave him alone napping, while I take a shower. He was up on and off all morning and quite fussy, until around nine after a meal he finally went down for a nap hard. I put him in his swing and waited 15 minutes. When he didn't wake up and cry, I decided to go for it. I was very nervous and washed as quickly as possible, hopped out of the shower and got dressed while watching him in his swing in the living room. Now, over an hour later, I realize all my rushing and nervousness was not necessary as he is still sleeping soundly. And I am reveling in my cleanliness. Oh, the things you take for granted when childless. Simple tasks like brushing your teeth, eating, and showering become major accomplishments when you have a little one.

I also had my 6-week post pardum checkup yesterday. Luckily, all went well. I have healed well and I was cleared for exercise. I don't remember the technical name of the part of the abdominal muscles that separates, but mine has closed all but one part at the top. The midwife let me feel the space and that was kind of freaky, but she said it was really tiny and I can start doing abdominal exercises again. I am very keen to begin in hopes of getting rid of this jelly belly (no need to have that in common with Santa despite the holidays), but who knows when I will actually start. I am anxious to go running again too, but given we are in the thick of winter with a storm watch beginning at noon today, I don't know when I will begin running either. I am scared to discover just how out of shape I have become. At least it is the time of year to start coming up with New Year's Resolutions.

5 Weeks and 3 Decades

Finn is 5 weeks and I am 3 decades! Pretty amazing on both fronts. We had a good weekend of celebrations. Sean's birthday is on Wednesday too, so the whole family had reason to party. On Saturday we gathered our courage and decided to try to go to a restaurant for the first time with Finn. It worked out really well. We went to Margarita's, a mexican joint here. The building it is in used to be a police station and we got our own cell to dine in which made it feel cozy and we knew we wouldn't disturb too much if Finn woke up and didn't like his surroundings. He slept the majority of the time. Towards the end of the meal, he woke up and just wanted to be held, so Sean and I passed him back and forth to finish our food. All in all, a major success. I also had my first margarita in 9 months. MMMMM! So wonderful, I love tequila. Just one got me really tipsy (one benefit of abstaining for so long). I had some milk stored up and so we were able to give Finn a bottle at his next meal and I pumped and dumped to be safe.

On Sunday, we made the trip out to Sean's folks place. Lily got to go and run around in the woods. Jan and Finn and I went to Salmon Falls, a local pottery place that is just wonderful. Finn had a hard time on the car ride to and from, but he did really well at the store. I just put him in the ring sling and we were able to look around and shop. We then had a lovely dinner to celebrate. Jan made her famous mac n' cheese which is too decadent and I crave it since we are not living there anymore.

Sunday night and throughout Monday, Finn was really resisting sleep. He didn't want to sleep unless he was actively being held and rocked. It wore Sean and me down quite a bit. I kept trying to feed him or change him and check to see if he was too hot or too cold, swaddle him, unswaddle him, and on and on. Nothing seemed to be wrong, he just didn't want to be put down. He fought it through much of last night, but finally he is sleeping now and I am hoping whatever had him so worked up has passed and he will be a happy boy after this much needed nap.

With this picture you won't believe he wouldn't sleep. Talk about a cuddle fest:

One Month!

Finnbar is one month old! Amazing! Time flies with no sleep. Actually we are doing pretty well. Some nights are good, others are more wakeful, but we are hanging in there.

Finn had his one month check up yesterday. He is growing extremely well and now weighing in at 10 lbs 4 oz, and 22 1/2 inches long. He hasn't gotten taller, but I don't think they are very precise when they do that measurement.

We also spent some time at the lactation consultants again yesterday. Just when I thought things were looking up, one of my nipples cracked open again and everything got really painful. They actually now think Finn and I have thrush, which is a yeast infection in my breasts and in Finn that gets transferred back and forth. It can arise when we are on antibiotics because it messes with the normal biological flora. I had read about it and thought the pain I was experiencing was similar to the symptoms listed, but Finn didn't have the symptoms so I had dismissed it. Apparently, he may not show them, but we can still have it. So, now we are both being treated for that. The lactation consultant, Mary Ann (who I love enormously and wish I could take her home) swore that often women experience a lot of problems with breast feeding through 6 weeks, but after that things often improve. I am seriously counting down to the six week point and really hope I can report this is the case for me.

Well, enough about my problems and on to the pictures of the cutest boy on earth (yes, I am biased)! He is starting to be more expressive each day. We catch what we think are smiles every once in a while. Of course, sometimes they are immediately followed by screaming so perhaps it is not joy, but this one was definitely a happy to see Dad face:

I tried to do a photo shoot with him on a blanket and he just looked a little confused the whole time:
Ah, sleeping boy in ninja pose. You can never be too ready to defend your bassinet: