Holy Moly, one week already!

Wow, I am in complete disbelief that Finnbar is already 1 week old! And what a week it has been. Becoming a mother is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. It is also the most awe-inspiring, emotional and joyful thing, but definitely a roller coaster! Here is what I remember:

Sunday 11/2 & Monday 11/3: Our Birth Story
I will try not to go into the really gory details of labor and delivery, but I will give you the low down as you all read about my anticipation of it all. I can say it was absolutely nothing that I could have envisioned based on all the reading of birth stories that I had done. On Sunday throughout the day, I was feeling a bit crampy, but didn't pay too much attention. Towards the late afternoon I was feeling it more periodically, but apparently, I was in denial and really didn't think it was the beginning of labor. I actually made some homemade bread (my mom swears it was the kneading that really got labor going) and we made dinner. After dinner I started to feel cramps more intensely and I thought something might be going on, but it still wasn't too bad and I thought I was just feeling some pre-labor symptoms. My mom and Sean and I played Sorry (Sean won) and at the end of the game I began to realize that these "cramps" might be time-able. Sean and my mom got on the contraction master website that allows you to just hit the space bar at the beginning and end of each contraction and it will time the frequency and duration which is a lot easier than trying to use a watch and record things. We realized my contractions were coming about 3 minutes apart and lasting around a minute each. Sean called the hospital and they had us come right in for monitoring particularly because of the 2 vessel cord thing. We rushed around getting the last minute stuff in the hospital bag. I still couldn't quite believe it was happening and figured we might be coming home. Once we got to the hospital at around 8pm, they hooked me up to external fetal monitoring in the triage area and said they would monitor what was happening for a while. Sean and I were hanging out and I was just breathing through contractions. Then, I felt really ill and lost my dinner. The nurse came in and said, she always recommends not to eat your favorite meal anytime near when you could go into labor as this is a common occurrence. However, I was hoping that getting it out of my system would make my stomach feel better, but every other contraction or so I continued to get ill. When the nurse checked my progress, I was at 6cm and 100% effaced. She checked us in and said we were not going home without a baby. At that point I was pretty happy because I felt the pain was manageable and things were progressing quickly. They hooked me up to antibiotics due to the group B strep positive status. It was really cold going into my arm and I got the shakes. I kept shaking uncontrollably. In the room, I pretty much just sat on the birthing ball breathing through contractions. It was not enjoyable as the contractions were tough and I was periodically getting sick and shaking, but I still felt pretty good about going med-free. The nurse really thought I would have the baby on Nov 2nd. She actually wanted me to make it to the 3rd to get a second dose of antibiotics in me at 1am. In my head I was thinking, okay, I can do this. Both my mom and my sister had very quick deliveries and I thought I must be on the same route with those genetics behind me. Yet, around 1am I got my antibiotics and they checked me at I was at 9cm. I seemed to have stalled out there for around 2 hours. I finally decided to let them break my water as the pain was really starting to wear me down and I wanted to get things moving despite wanting the least amount of medical intervention as possible. Once they broke my water, things got more intense and the nurse said we just needed to wait until I felt the urge to push. It took a long while for any sort of feeling like that and I am always questioning myself so it was really tough. We started pushing around 3am I think. We tried a lot of positions, but I liked the squatting bar best. About an hour or so into pushing I heard the nurse call the doctor in. I was hopeful this meant we were getting close. Unfortunately, it was to check the fetal readings which apparently were becoming concerning. It was really hard to try to overhear what they were saying while, I really was beginning to feel out of my mind with the pain of contractions and the ordeal of pushing. They actually had me breath through some contractions in an effort to see what the baby was doing, and that was the absolute worst experience. I had no control over the pain at that point. After awhile they decided they had to put in internal fetal monitoring on Finn's head. I kept pushing and I wasn't completely aware of all that was happening. At one point I heard them talk about an emergency c-section because Finnbar's heartrate was decelerating. They were calling in the team and our room was flooded with people ready to whisk us away. The doctor told me she would try first with the vacuum and if we couldn't do it, then c-section it was. She told me that the vacuum would help guide the baby, but I still had to do all the work. I wanted to cry at this I was so exhausted and I was beginning to feel like a c-section was inevitable. It was really scary to try to cope with this and the pain of contractions and pushing. The vacuum was also a mess because Finn had so much hair they had a hard time getting it on him. I kept pushing and pushing and all of a sudden when I heard someone say that I had to have this baby in the next 10 minutes one way or the other, his head crowned and everyone was shouting to look at my baby being born. He came out quickly and they placed him on my chest. He cried really quickly and all the pain and exhaustion left me immediately. I couldn't believe it. I had to have a 3rd degree episiotomy which took a long while to stitch up, but all in all we were doing well. Sean was able to cut the cord and stayed with Finn while they weighed and measured him. I should say that Sean was phenomenally supportive during this whole thing. I cuddled Finn skin to skin all day on Monday and couldn't sleep for wanting to look at him the whole time. My mom came to the hospital and then Sean's parents and Kate and Jonathon and Carrie and Jon. Everyone was overjoyed to meet Finn.



Tuesday 11/4 and Wednesday 11/5:
We were in the hospital for about 2 1/2 days. It was a whirlwind. I had no real concept of day or time and could only focus on Finn. There were constantly nurses coming in and doctors and various tests they had to do on Finn or me. I was meeting with lactation consultants to try to figure out breast feeding. That was quite crazy as trying to figure out the advice of all the different people was overwhelming. I was definitely uncomfortable after the delivery with all the stitches and moving around was difficult. I was happy to have made it med-free through the delivery, but I definitely took them up on percocet and motrin afterward. I had a breakdown in the middle of the night crying for no reason (or every reason), completely overwhelmed with hormones and emotions and nerves of how I was going to take care of this little guy. We were discharged on Wednesday afternoon and made the trek home.


We made it home and I was happy to get out of the hospital and feel comfortable and home and try to figure out this whole parenting thing. First, we had to introduce Finn to Lily and they have already become fast friends.


Thursday 11/6:
Breast feeding is incredibly challenging. Finn is a sleepy sleepy boy and it was taking him a long time to rouse and nurse, then promptly falling back asleep. They gave this chart about how many solid diapers we should be seeing every day after birth. I began to panic when he hadn't had one in over 24 hours since the hospital. So we call the pediatrician who recommends we go to the ER to have him checked for dehydration. I am a complete wreck and crying easily. We go to the ER where we meet a most fabulous doctor and she puts my mind at ease saying Finn has gained some weight and appears completely healthy and he will soil his diaper when he is ready, but just keep feeding him. I was so thankful for this woman. Of course we go home and Finn is still having a hard time waking for feedings. I am stressed and crazed calling the lactation consultants. They had me pump and feed him from a bottle which made me feel very sad and inadequate. Luckily, he ate and eventually he had a soiled diaper. He has since gone back to breast feeding and both he and I are getting better, but there are so many questions. Despite all the books, it is such a difficult and confusing process. I have an appointment tomorrow to speak with the lactation consultants. I am feeling a lot better about the whole thing though and I am sure we will be doing well soon.

Friday 11/7:
We had to go to the pediatrician for a follow-up regarding our ER visit. Finn is again given the all clear and pronounced a healthy boy. Finn also got his first bath at home.



Saturday 11/8:
A good relaxing day. We got to sleep in and Sean was home all day (Finn allows about a 3 hour stretch at night, but I have been napping during the day some). It was wonderful. Jan and Peter (Nana and Papa) came by with a beautiful changing table for Finn. He is now wetting and soiling diapers left and right and we are becoming better at folding the cloth to adequately catch newborn poop explosions.

Sunday 11/9:
Another good day. We are figuring out breast feeding more and more, but still lots of questions. My entire day right now is devoted to trying to feed, change diapers and sleep. Thank goodness for the most amazing support from Sean and my mom. They wait on me and make sure I am eating and resting when I can. My dad, Finn's Babou arrived in the late evening from Colorado. He trekked across the US to meet his new grandson. It is wonderful to have him here for the week too. It is going to go quickly and then my mom and dad will be off and Sean and Finn and Lily and I will be on our own.

Monday 11/10:
Well, here we are! Finn is one week old and I am amazed at the whirlwind of the week. I am sure I missed lots of details. Here are some more photos and I will try to update every once and a while with more (we have already taken hundreds!).