Perspective

Okay, I swear I am not bipolar, but it has just been a couple hours since my last post and I feel like a new woman. Finn woke up in a good mood. We got a load of laundry in, he played happily while I began a loaf of bread, we played together and he did some tummy time. We read a book and now he is napping again. Still in my arms, but heck I'll take it!

I also just read some of the mommy boards that I frequent and found some posts of moms at there wit's end because their baby was up 8x + last night. So I guess Finn is actually doing extremely well in comparison. Gotta keep things in perspective I suppose. I don't have the foggiest what I am doing, but I don't think I have screwed him up too badly yet so just gotta keep plugging away.

Operation Crib Transition Part 2

Another night of crib sleeping (?) down. We did a bit better than yesterday. Finn was asleep at 7:30 last night after a bout of screaming while Sean rocked him. Sean was able to put him down and he didn't wake until 11:15. I nursed him and got him back in the crib in about 1/2 hour. Then he woke again at 2:45 I nursed him and got him back to bed by 3, but then he was up again at 3:45. I nursed him again and tried to get him back to bed, but the minute I crawled back in bed he woke up. i asked Sean to give it a go. It took him until about 4:30 to get him back down. At that point, Sean decided to just go ahead and start the day and walk the dog (they are usually out the door a little after 5 anyway). Then Finn woke again at 5:15. As I peered into the crib, I saw a wide awake boy grin at me, so we decided to start our day too. He ate and we played a little, but then he started to get fussy. So, I think he must be tired so I try to rock him again. He goes to sleep, I put him in his crib. Five minutes later he is up. I put him in his bouncy chair as I am brushing my teeth and he becomes more and more agitated. I pick him up to try to sooth and end up with a screaming baby. I nurse him to get him to calm down as nothing else I try works including his paci. He finally conks out in my arms. He seems to be in a deep sleep so I begin to place him in his crib. The minute his bottom touches the mattress his eyes open and he scowls at me accusingly (how dare you put me down?). So I pick him up and now he sleeps soundly on my lap as I type this one handed. I end up crying because I think I must be doing everything wrong. I am clueless about his cues and I never know when i should be feeding him or playing with him or trying to get him to sleep. I am worried I am resorting to the boob to often because he has been spitting up. I am worried he is not getting the rest he needs because he is so cranky when he is awake. I am worried he is not getting the proper developmental activities when he is awake because I am always holding him trying to calm him. I am worried I am going to be holding him to nap when he is 18. All in all I am worried I am a bad mom. I also think I am overtired too (I obviously don't do well with disrupted sleep) and over-analyzing things, but no way that is going to stop given my propensity to worry even before motherhood.

We made it to the bookstore yesterday and they didn't have the books I wanted so they ordered them and will be here in a couple days. I hope they give me a little guidance or reassurance.

Operation Crib Transition

I will never sleep again. Okay, I know this is temporary, but I am exhausted. Finn is rapidly approaching the weight limit to his bassinet so Sean and I decided to begin putting him in his crib to sleep at night. We have gone through two nights now and I am planning on going to the bookstore this morning and looking at every book on infant sleep they have.

The first night was not so bad. We got through bedtime routine and rocked him to sleep. He slept happily in his crib until about 11:30 which is pretty much what he used to do in his bassinet. I jumped up when he woke and nursed him. He fell asleep after his snack, but he woke up the minute I tried to put him back in the crib. So, I broke down and brought him to bed with us.

In all honesty, I would happily co-sleep until he turns one, but he doesn't seem to sleep that much better in bed with us. He thrashes around a lot and none of us get any rest. Plus our bed just isn't big enough and I am so hyper-aware of his presence that I don't feel rested.

Last night was tough. We got him to sleep in his crib at 8pm, but then he was up again at 10pm. Then again at midnight and every hour thereafter. I know he wasn't hungry every time because he would nurse for just a couple minutes then fall asleep. I would rock him until he seemed in a deep sleep which could take awhile and then once I got him down, I would get a half hour before we had to repeat. Ugh.

I know Finn is not feeling well rested either because he is currently sleeping soundly on my lap. I think he just wants to be held all the time to sleep. I wish I could provide it for him, but obviously we need to move past this as he gets older.

I think I am going to see if they have The No-Cry Sleep Solution at the bookstore. I have also heard good things about The Baby Whisperer for getting a baby on a bit of a schedule, but I don't really know the whole basis of that one. This is so difficult because I want to make sure I am doing what his best for Finn and not just for myself. I want to accurately understand what his needs are regarding sleep and nutrition at this age, but also I want to meet his emotional needs. I feel like these are such huge decisions given that our actions can directly affect his brain development and how he views the world.

Nothing like a heck of a lot of pressure on tired parents!

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Lots of hugs and kisses from Finnbar!

Ready to face the world

Finn has been wiggly and fussy every time I tried to put him in the moby facing me lately. I think he just felt too confined. I had been holding off facing him forward because they recommend doing so at 4 months. Well, he is so big and has gotten such good head control, I decided to try it out. I have been carrying him facing forward because he wants to check everything out now anyway. It was a big hit. We were over at his cousins' house yesterday and he got to get bundled up and watch them sled. He was fascinated. Then today, I took him to the grocery store and he was so happy to watch me pick out items and cross them off my list. Facing the world it fantastic!

3 Months!

Finnbar is three months old, a newborn no longer. I can't believe we made it through the 'fourth trimester' and have entered infanthood. It is amazing to think how much Finn has changed. I swear he develops new skills daily. I now understand why everyone told me to cherish every moment because it goes so quickly and things change all the time.

Finn has really gotten some great head control and he likes to be held upright or is an upright sitting position so he can really take things in:


He is also exceptionally proud of his ability to grab his toys now:

Happy Groundhog Day!

Alas, the groundhog saw his shadow and we have 6 more weeks of winter. Typically I would be very happy for such a forecast, but I must say I was hoping for an early spring this year. It will just be that much easier to take Finn and Lily for walks. We did get out today and it was pretty nice. I just have to stick to the downtown where they clear the sidewalks well when I have the stroller. Finn has gotten a bit wiggly in the Moby wrap. I think he really wants a bit more freedom of movement now, but he is still too young to move him facing forward. It occurred to me today how great spring is going to be when Finn was staring at the trees when we go past and I thought, he has never seen leaves! How amazing and new spring will be for him and he is going to be at a great curious age.

Well, here are a few of our latest photos. Finn rocked to sleep:

This is where the expression "sleeping like a baby" comes from:

Finn often protests tummy time, so we find creative ways to get him on his belly:

Gosh, do I have some handsome men in my life!